From the available statistics it is clear that in the majority of cases the perpetrators of domestic abuse are men and the majority of victims are women. The next question to ask is, why do they do this? When we women are on the receiving end of violence and abuse we often ask ourselves this question. We also try to answer it.
Perpetrators tell us and we believe, that the violence was caused by drink, stress, unemployment, overwork, low self-esteem or insecurity. Many of the professionals we meet also accept these explanations. The reality is that these are all excuses. They may have been drunk when they hit us but they didn’t usually hit anyone else. Being insecure doesn’t make people violent. Why should it?
The real reason for their violence and abuse is the desire to keep women under control. They do not need to use violence every day. Some abusive men never need to use it at all, because they can control us by using other tactics. They will usually use violence when they believe the other tactics are failing….